Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Would the World End If We Just Said Yes?

Do you ever find yourself as a parent saying "no" all the time?  Can I have a cookie?  No.  Can I wear shorts even though it's 50 degrees out?  No.  Can we play Candyland again?  No.  Sometimes I'm even more upset by the endless stream of "no"s than my kids.

What would it be like to say "yes" for a change instead of answering all those little questions with the knee jerk "no" response?  At least for the things that really aren't dangerous or world-ending. Yes, you can wear whatever you like, even if it doesn't match.  Yes, you can have Mac and Cheese for breakfast even though it seems thoroughly unappetizing to me.  Yes, you can pull out the fingerpaints even though I hate cleaning them up.  Yes, I will spend an extra 10 minutes playing a board game that makes me feel brain dead.  The message is, if it's important to your child and not going to hurt you or them in the process, why not?  It might just strengthen your relationship in the long-term.

In an article "Just Say Yes" by Sandra Tsing Loh in Wondertime Magazine, the author talks about an experiment in which, for an entire week, she tried to put "yes" in place of the automatic "no's" that come up on a daily basis.  It is a funny piece, but it has some poignant truths, too, about the fact that children will grow up and grow away and that what they probably want most of all is to spend time with us.  Time that we all too often say "no" to.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal also has a wonderful children's book on this theme, Yes Day!, about a day once a year where the answer to everything a child asks for, including using hair gel and staying up late, is yes.  You MIGHT even be inspired to put this holiday on your own family's yearly calendar!




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