Sound Familiar?
A friend of mine left town for a few days, leaving her calm, confident and well adjusted, 18-month old daughter in the care of family. On her return, we connected and, of course, I wanted to hear all about the trip and also asked how the little one did! Here is what she said:
She felt...
She felt...
HAPPY:
"I'm happy that she developed some good habits." In her absence, her sister-in-law was able to get her daughter, Sophia, off the pacifier AND got her to fall asleep in her crib!
SAD:
"What was I doing wrong? I guess I'm a little sad with myself that I was not able to do this on my own."
Sound Familiar? Of course! Anyone and everyone who has held or currently holds the prestigious title of "parent" can empathize with this dark feeling of "inadequacy" when someone else is able to accomplish what we could not with OUR OWN children!
But here is the underlying truth, my Friend: you should be very proud of yourself for the great job that you HAVE done with your daughter! Not very many parents can leave town (let alone the country!) unless they are absolutely comfortable that their child will be okay and will do well!
Let's make a list of Mommy and Daddy's parenting skills that might help my Friend feel better:
But here is the underlying truth, my Friend: you should be very proud of yourself for the great job that you HAVE done with your daughter! Not very many parents can leave town (let alone the country!) unless they are absolutely comfortable that their child will be okay and will do well!
Let's make a list of Mommy and Daddy's parenting skills that might help my Friend feel better:
1. You have to be a confident, calm and positive parent to be able to leave your child anywhere!
2. You obviously have phenomenal relationships with your family to have them volunteer to take on the responsibility. This speaks directly of your investment in the importance of family for both of you as individuals! BRAVO!
3. YOUR CHILD WAS HAPPY WHILE YOU WERE GONE! This is a huge, positive reflection of the happiness index that you have raised your child with.
4. Sophia even took it to the next level! What an EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT child! She was well-aware of and responded to the new things that her aunt was trying to teach her. This speaks directly to the learning environment that you have surrounded and raised her with. It goes without saying that she is a bright child who is nurtured and encouraged to constantly learn and is given the freedom to choose when SHE is ready!
So where's the grief?
Sophia has happy, confident, calm, positive parents who have taught her by example and embedded in her the importance of family. Hence, Sophia has, thus far, been raised to be a bright, nurtured, well-adjusted, intelligent, and soul-full child who makes positive choices when she is ready!
Another thing to remember!
There is an old saying that says... "It takes a community to raise a child"
And this is absolutely true. In fact, it is extremely healthy for your child to learn from people and environment other than their home and parents! What great preparation for school, college and real life! Moreover, research indicates that learning from cousins and family members strengthens bonds and harnesses trust. It really does not matter who the source of a positive habit is. What does matter is that you have a child who is able to learn from a new environment!
Another thing to remember!
There is an old saying that says... "It takes a community to raise a child"
And this is absolutely true. In fact, it is extremely healthy for your child to learn from people and environment other than their home and parents! What great preparation for school, college and real life! Moreover, research indicates that learning from cousins and family members strengthens bonds and harnesses trust. It really does not matter who the source of a positive habit is. What does matter is that you have a child who is able to learn from a new environment!
Honor yourself, Mom and Dad, for you are on the right track! You are doing a great job and what a great "family community" you have! As you all may know, our TOG motto is: Emotionally Intelligent Parents Raise Happy and Caring Kids! And this is exactly what you're doing my Friend! You should be very proud of yourself!
Before we part for today, here's a great refresher message for all our TOG Parents:
"A LOVING CONNECTION WITH YOUR CHILD WILL PROVIDE THE FOUNDATION FOR YOUR CHILD'S HIGHER THINKING SKILLS "
