Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness, also promotes family dinner, and shares a wide array of advantages to sharing family meals, including: 1. better health 2. better grades 3. better emotional stability 4. better relationships 5. better chances of bypassing the use of alcohol, drugs, smoking 6. better vocabulary 7. better social skills
In the Holiday spirit, we have two beautiful ideas to share with you. One is for our TOG Parents and the other for our Little TOG Fans:
1. We loved this very simple, yet meaningful way of saying "Thank you". Please share it with your family and friends! It is a fabulous way to teach kids early on! We found it in a recent article from "The Associated Press":
"At Christmas, "Santa'' always fills my children's stockings with a mix of fun, edible and practical items. A few years ago, when my oldest child was beginning to write, my husband and I started the tradition of tucking packets of thank-you cards into their stockings.
We explained that Santa must have given them the cards so they would have stationery to write thank-you notes to family and friends for the gifts they had received. The cards are a wonderful reminder to my children that they need to express their gratitude to those who have spent time and money to buy and send them a gift. Usually there are cards left over to cover thank-you notes at birthday time as well."
It turns out (not surprisingly) that showing love and affection to your children is the most important predictor of the child's well-being. But, interestingly, some more parent-centered things are also very important when it comes to positive child outcomes. Specifically, the parent's ability to manage stress and the parent's relationship with significant others are numbers two and three on the list of important qualities for their child's success.
If releasing your inner child takes those moments when you "pause long enough to take notice of the wonders of the world," shouldn't there be enough of those this time of year to make this happen?
One of our favorites is Hug by Jez Alborough, about Bobo, a monkey who needs a hug. With just one word, he makes his way through the animals of the jungle until he finds just who he is looking for: his mother. The large board book size is perfect for sharing at laptime.
In another book about hugs between mommies and their animal children, Mommy Hugs by Anne Gutman shows the different ways that animals snuggle with their mothers in simple words and illustrations.
Amazon's review of A Book of Hugs by Dave Ross, says: Can you imagine what it would be like to hug a bear? An octopus? And how does that differ from a brother hug? Or a Great-Aunt Mary hug? Dave Ross and illustrator Laura Rader's A Book of Hugs explores the full spectrum of hugs with bright, cartoonish illustrations and winsome one- or two-line descriptions. "Fish hugs are very cold and seldom returned," for instance. As for tree hugs, "Some trees are easier to hug than others. Note: If you hug a pine tree too long, you may get stuck on it." In the back you'll find "Facts and Hints About Hugging," including "Never hug tomorrow when you could hug today."
If you prefer human hugs, two books by Karen Katz may fit the bill: Daddy Hugs and Mommy Hugs. These books are great for toddlers, and count from 1 to 10 the different types of hugs that Daddies or Mommies give their babies and toddlers.
"Hugging is all natural; it is organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, non-fattening, no carbohydrates, no preservatives, no artificial or genetically engineered ingredients, and 100% wholesome"
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Virginia Satir, American Psychologist
Hugs are little gestures that make a big impact on everyone we share them with. Grab your little ones and watch this short video as author Patrick McDonnell reads from his book, Hug Time.
So many hugs to give with those around us! For this Thanksgiving holiday, how many hugs can you share with family and friends?
Set the foundation for your children and see how creative they can get in Giving Thanks!
Here is a great activity that you and your family can do together to prep for the Holidays!
The post from the Frugal Family Fun Blog suggests listing what you are thankful for (such as nature and books and friends) and making an activity to go along with each one (such as playing outside and going to the library and having a play date). The blog post suggests putting each activity on a card and doing one card each day up until Thanksgiving. Since we found this a little late to do it that way this year, we are going to make our cards on Thanksgiving and do the activities each day until we run out!
Let us know if your family tries this and what things you end up doing. Leave a comment here or on our facebook page!
We have written before on the importance of gratitude, and the fact that being thankful for the small and big things in our lives WILL make us happier. This is true for kids, too, so we should do what we can to cultivate a feeling of appreciation in ourselves and in our children.
Spend a moment with your kids thinking about someone who has helped them with something - maybe a teacher, a friend, a coach, a brother or sister, a neighbor, or anyone! Then watch this very short video and pass it along. It will make someone's day AND make the giver (you and your kid) feel good, too!
A few lines of children's coloring books and games have recently come on the market that are all about expressing creativity rather than coloring inside the lines.
Taro Gomi's books: Doodles, Scribbles, and Squiggles, among others, are great collections of pages with prompts that kids can follow to create their own imaginative masterpieces.
The RandomLine company has a series of game books based on the idea of completing pictures out of random squiggles. Some of our favorites are Squiggle On-the-Go and Squiggle Mixup, but there are more of these, too!
For many of us, there is an abundance of things to be grateful for in daily life. Why is it that we wait until the fourth Thursday of November to really reflect on them? Our suggestion is to spend some time each day - and only a few minutes will do - thinking about what makes you grateful. If this is a difficult concept, then just think about the things that make you happy. Maybe your kids shared their Halloween candy with each other without prompting, maybe you saw a beautifully fall-like tree, maybe you just made it to work on time. Whatever it is, be grateful and happy. This is a scientifically proven path to greater happiness in your life.
And don't just save this secret for yourself - help your kids do the same. It really will improve their outlook on life!
The Book of Awesome, by Neil Pasricha, lists simple and fun things to be grateful for and happy about, such as the extra time you get when the clock rolls back next week!
Buy these two books and more at our TOG Box Store or just click on the buttons below!
We thought we'd share some of our favorite simple Halloween craft and treat activities to help while away the hours up until it is time for Trick or Treating!
1. Spiderwebs from Mom Tried It
We love this simple and engaging craft and can't wait to try it ourselves!
We are sharing part of a post from MomsWithApps today, featuring creative, open-ended Halloween apps for the iPhone, iTouch, and iPad...
Treat Street includes a mix and match costume shop, a street with doorbells to ring and treats and surprises to collect, and a goodie bag that can be searched through to see all the treats collected. It is a simple exploratory game, with nice graphics.
Leaf Jam is a new release that lets kids play with fall leaves, tapping the screen to make them fall, shaking it to move them around, and touching the rake button to clean up and start over!
Let's Bead Friends allows kids to create a bracelet with beads they design themselves, using simple or complex patterns. They can even send a jewelry greeting by email or through facebook. This is another open-ended and exploratory game (with Halloween beads, too!) that encourages creativity.
We have posted about this product before, in discussing the importance of pretend play in developing empathy. This particular toy, though, has gotten a fair amount of recent playing time at our house, and with Halloween right around the corner, we thought it would be worth revisiting. It is the Make Your Own Monster Puppets by Melissa and Doug. The pieces can be attached to the puppet bodies with velcro and changed as often as kids want! In our house, each individual creation gets its own name and characteristics, and we have been expanding the stories about these characters into drawings and mini books. So much creativity from some felt, fur, and velcro!
"There is a myth that doing nothing is wasting time, when it's actually extremely productive and essential," says Dr. Hirsh-Pasek. "During empty hours, kids explore the world at their own pace, develop their own unique set of interests and indulge in the sort of fantasy play that will help them figure out how to create their own happiness, handle problems with others on their own, and sensibly manage their own time. That's a critical life skill."
"Children continue to learn and develop throughout childhood," notes Hirsh-Pasek. "But they need time to recharge their batteries and process what they've learned. Free time allows them to explore, to be scientists, discoverers, creators, and innovators. They do that when they build pillow forts in the family room, sail away in a laundry basket to a foreign land, or find the remarkable in the mundane."
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
If there were only one valuable gift we could give our children ........ What would it be?
The gift of TIME. This simple yet clear message is delivered beautifully by Patrick McDonnell,
in his book, THE GIFT OF NOTHING.
This author, illustrator and Award Winning Cartoonist makes the entire book available for us to enjoy! A dedicated promoter of animals and of an earth friendly environment, all of his books are printed on recycled paper.
This boy really got the hang of the "I CAN DO IT" theme! Try it with your kids! It feels great!
Make your own "I CAN DO IT" Dance video and email it to us at info@toolsofgrowth.com. We will be posting them and every participant will be entered into the "I CAN DO IT" Dance drawing to win a $10 Amazon Gift Card! Have fun!
This wonderful iPhone App is yet another creative way to remind your child that their inner greatness is just an affirmation away! AFFIRMATIONS help "switch" a negative thought to a positive one, building our children's happiness foundation. The app is extremely easy to use and you can choose the "Read it Myself" option or the "Read to Me" option, which is narrated by Louise Hay, herself.
Looking for AFFIRMATIONS for yourself? On the face page of the iPhone app, press on the round button with the a picture of a house, and VOILA! you will be introduced to a world of AFFIRMATION iPhone apps, for health, wealth, romance and much more.
I Think, I Am by New York Times Best Selling Author and founder of Hay House, Louise Hay, teaches children how to quickly and easily learn to be open-hearted and open-minded by thinking and saying positive statements (affirmations), leading to positive behavior and actions. It also encourages children to love and honor themselves, as well as those around them, by expressing kindness and love.
What are affirmations?
It's simple: They are positive statements! Affirmations are a fantastic way to create new beliefs about oneself or to reaffirm existing ones. Here are a few examples from this "must have in your children's library" book:
"I can make today great"
"I love to learn new things"
"I am surrounded by love"
"I am grateful for what I have"
How wonderful would it be if we could teach our children early on to believe in themselves!
At the end of this book, Louise Hay suggests seven simple techniques to help children practice the art of positive thinking and speaking. One of my personal favorite authors and speakers, Dr. Wayne Dyer, also referred to as the "Father of Motivation" says, "You'll see it when you believe it."
Try it, have fun, unlock your children's potential, and lead them to their greatness!
Research shows that our experiences in life reshape our brains and change our nervous systems. The problem is that we are wired to respond more to negative than positive experiences. As psychologist Rick Hanson says, "The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones." Negative experiences are actually stored in a different way than we typically store positive influences. But recent research shows that if we train ourselves, we can focus more on positive experiences, building them up to counterbalance this "negativity bias."
We can do this by noticing the positive events more (rather than just letting them slip by), savoring them (by staying with the positive emotions for more than just a few seconds), and letting these positive experiences become a part of us. These steps help embed the positive and change the structure of our nervous system for the better!
The Happy Book is a little bit silly and fairly visual (one page asks you to go outside the box and draw a picture of a crazy animal hybrid (a rabbihippo, bearicorn, catigator, etc.), another exhorts you to plan a "perfect kid's day menu" for yourself.) The exercises are fun and creative and will definitely stretch those positive thinking skills!
The Field Guide to Happiness is a slightly more structured program for noticing and savoring positive things in life. It has sections for making lists of things that make you happy, with helpful prompts and clear explanations of the point of the exercises. It calls on you to think deeply about what inspires and delights you, which takes some effort but will also pay you back by embedding these positive emotions even more deeply.
An additional Parent TOG that we just have to share is Christine Carter's new class, based on her book and one of our all-time favorite TOGs, Raising Happiness. This online class starts next week and promises to teach:
Practical skills for raising kids who are happy now and in the future
Greater happiness yourself—both as a parent and an individual
Ways to raise children’s emotional intelligence and school performance
Strategies for dealing with life’s difficulties, such as: divorce, sibling rivalry, brattiness and entitlement, and big changes, such as moving or a death.
We are so excited about this class and hope to see some of you in the virtual classroom! Click here for more info.
